Originally published on Friday, April 4, 2025 via the Daily Hampshire Gazette

Fatherhood in jail is limited to letters, phone calls, and inch-thick plexiglass that bars intimacy. But that plexiglass was shattered, and the concrete mass that is the Hampshire County House of Corrections became a home for a few hours Wednesday night.

In the jail’s visiting room that night were a dozen men with a history of violence, drug dealing, and gang activity. But for the 12 graduates of Nurturing Fathers program offered by the Hampshire County Sheriff’s Office, the future looked more like the optimism on the painting in the room of the jail where the event was held. The image portrays community and family being embraced by open hands.

“I feel like every father’s dream is to be the perfect father — be the best dad in the world,” said Julio Nunez, who rocked his baby during the graduation ceremony. “I want my kids to know that its OK to make a mistake, but just make sure you learn from them, because I sure will.”

Nunez’s daughter couldn’t have been more consoled to be in his arms as she drifted to sleep through the din and joy in the room. Usually she only receives that consolation via a landline.

The Nurturing Fathers program is a 13-week course that provides guidance and counseling to fathers. Co-facilitator Brandon Downey sees Nunez as one of the program’s many successes.

“He’s only been able to see his daughter a few times, but when he calls at night you can hear his daughter crying in the background, and then you know, they give the phone to her and he’s just talking, and just like his voice will calm her down to go to bed,” said Downey. “The smile on his face when he said that — it just lit me up.”

Nunez’s fiancee, Kiana Melendez, called the course “a blessing.”

The Nurturing Fathers program teaches fathers how to build parenting skills and strengthen bonds with their children. Organized by the sheriff’s office and The Children’s Trust, the program started in the Hampshire County House of Corrections in 2016, but later expanded to men in the Hampshire County community with the Northampton Recovery Center and Ware Recovery Center.

Graduates Reflect

Those who complete the course celebrate with a graduation ceremony, like the one held on Wednesday, at which graduates like Shacolby Merriman can share their thoughts.

When he took to the podium to speak about the father he envisions for himself, Merriman said, “Everything will be OK. I will be there.”

Merriman’s sister, Shale Miller, who has been taking care of her brother’s child during his incarceration, has noticed the impact the program has had.

“You’re like damn, this is a profound change,” she said. “I think it’s just beautiful.”

Another graduate, Ermer Bauza, made this promise: “I want to be the father I never had. I want to be a present father. I want to be a father who leads his family in a healthy way ... who understands ... who never judges,” said Bauza, who was described by Downey as, “probably the most stoic person I have ever met.”

Graduate Russell Mayo took the time to reflect on his past as a means of becoming the father he wants to be going forward.

“I talk about my first calling wanting to be in the NBA, then falling short in college,” he said, and went on to talk about the fulfilling career he had, including a stint with an organization that helps kids with brain injuries after he himself experienced a brain injury.

“The father I want to be is the one I have been in past days. And yet the father I want to be has grown wise,” he said. “I unconditionally loved the three and a half years I got to spend with my son, Jeff. It was in those moments that I felt closest to God in my life.”

He also thanked fellow incarcerated people that have helped shape this phase of his life, saying there are, “high potential, high quality guys in here.”

The incarcerated at the Hampshire County Jail are men of strict routine and constant supervision. They are monitored behind glass all day, doors buzz them in and out as they travel through the grounds, and stainless steel serves as their bed, table, and more.

But on Wednesday, this environment turned into a family dinner for Jose Gonzalez, where smiles united his family. He assisted his children as they grabbed mac n’ cheese and chicken tenders that were prepared by the jail’s chef and culinary instructor, Franco Dell’Olio.

Jeffrey Washington, whose 12-year-old daughter was present, said to those in the room: 

“I will teach her to respect people. I will teach her responsibility, and to understand right from wrong. ... I will also respect her decisions.”

Sheriff Patrick Cahillane and Northwestern District Attorney David Sullivan congratulated the bunch on their perseverance through the course, which brings participants on a journey back to their own childhood and traumas.

For them, a key factor of the program, which has now graduated 12 classes, is to reduce recidivism. Of the 99 who have gone through the program, only three have returned to the jail — a point of pride among those who put on the program that started at Sullivan’s request.

Sullivan explained that the program is especially integral because of the impacts on children. As Child Abuse Awareness month is celebrated during April, he said that child abuse statistics just last year in Hampshire County totaled 200 children.

For him, this program is allowing men to be there for their children.

Cahillane said that prison more generally is not “about locking people in cells, it’s about helping people progress in their own lives, and to try and make it a better life for themselves and their future.”

He continued, speaking to the room of fathers, saying that, “You know, a lot of times people look down on people that they think are weak or something because they show kindness and respect. But the reality is, that’s what real men do.”

“Tell the people in your life that you love them,” the sheriff advised.

And to the women in the room, he said: “You’ve had to tolerate the men in your lives. You know that’s not an easy thing ... You know we’re not the best, but thank you for taking care of the children, because without you, we’d all be lost.”

Co-facilitators Downey, who himself spent six months in the past at the Hampshire jail, and Louis Paduano shared that this was the first time they had overseen the program for those currently in jail as opposed to fathers that have already been released.

They expected the participants to be more quiet and reserved, but found the opposite.

“We do three sessions a year, but there was something special about this one. All these guys took it so serious and had so much insight,” said Downey. “A lot of these guys are working harder at fatherhood than guys on the outside. You kind of have to.”

He praised the determination for their going above and beyond, and Paduano praised their vulnerability.

“Being a father is a mindset,” said Downey, adding that children don’t remember the toys or the things they are showered with. But they do remember the experiences and “the time our parents spend with us,” he said.