The Fathers They Chose to Be

What Five Years of Nurturing Fathers Graduation Essays Reveal About Building Stronger Families

Every graduation of the Nurturing Fathers program ends with graduates sharing: The father I choose to be…

The prompt is the culmination of the Nurturing Fathers program, a nationally recognized, 13-week, strength-based curriculum that helps fathers develop positive parenting attitudes and behaviors. At every graduation, participants stand before their families, peers, and program facilitators to read essays titled The Father I Choose to Be—deeply personal reflections on the parent they are working to become.

Supported by the Children’s Trust through partnerships with community organizations across Massachusetts, Nurturing Fathers is part of the Children’s Trust’s broader Fatherhood Initiative, which recognizes that engaged fathers contribute to children’s healthy development, stronger families and more resilient communities.

Over the past five years, 161 fathers have completed the program. Their stories are different, but one theme surfaces again and again in their essays: the belief that the past does not have to determine the future.

A Different Future

For many participants, fatherhood becomes an opportunity to rewrite the story they want their children to inherit.

One father reflected:

“From my current circumstances, I choose to be a father who proves that a mistake or poor decision in the past does not have to define who you are as a person, and that it is merely an opportunity and a stepping stone to learn, to build, to grow, and to better yourself for a brighter, more beautiful future.”

For many, that decision is rooted in their own childhood experiences.

One participant shared:

“Fatherhood is not an easy role and it doesn’t come with a rulebook or instruction manual. A lot of things you learn as you go. I know how I felt as a boy without my Dad. I always wanted a Dad to spend time with me and teach me how to do things like how to fix a bike.”

Rather than repeating the patterns they experienced, these fathers are choosing to create new ones and to build a future with their children based on consistency, compassion and unconditional love.

Growth Starts Within

Another theme echoes throughout the essays: fatherhood begins with personal growth.
Participants describe developing greater self-awareness, learning to communicate differently and gaining practical tools that strengthen their relationships with their children.
One father wrote:

“This class has taught me more about myself and how I can be better to myself so that I can be a better father to my child.”

Another reflected:

“I got new tools from this program that taught me how to be more understanding, and how to listen instead of hear.”

Others spoke about the confidence they gained along the way.

“I believe because of this program I truly have the tools to be the best father I can be.”

“Because of this I will be the best me I can be.”

These reflections speak to the Children’s Trust’s broader approach to strengthening families. By supporting programs that help parents build healthy relationships, develop new skills and recognize their own strengths, we’re investing in protective factors that help families thrive before challenges become crises.

More Than Graduation Speeches

Through partnerships with community organizations across Massachusetts, the Children’s Trust helps fathers build stronger relationships with their children and families.

Every graduation marks the beginning of a new chapter for these men and their families.

Year after year, these essays remind us that when fathers are supported, the impact reaches far beyond one family, strengthening communities one relationship at a time.

About the 30 for 30 Fatherhood Series

This story is part of 30 Stories for 30 Years, marking 30 years of the Children’s Trust Fatherhood Initiative. The series highlights how professionals and organizations across Massachusetts support father involvement, healthy co-parenting, and stronger parenting partnerships as part of upstream prevention.