Helping Families Navigate Challenging Co-Parenting Relationships

By building trust and taking a steady, thoughtful approach, home visitor Aldemis Olivo helps parents navigate complex relationships and stay focused on what their children need most.

“Persist, not insist.” That is the mantra of Aldemis Olivo, a home visitor with the Boston Healthy Families program. Over her 15 years as a home visitor, Olivo has worked with many families navigating complicated relationships and limited support systems and in that time, she has seen over and over again that helping fathers become active, positive participants in their children’s lives can transform the wellbeing of an entire family.

She knows that often, engaging fathers who are in complicated relationships with the mothers is rarely simple or immediate. It takes patience, trust, persistence – and training. But it pays off. That approach recently helped two families build healthier co-parenting relationships that changed their trajectory.

When Rosie* first enrolled in the program while pregnant, she did not want to discuss the baby’s father and felt strongly that he should not be involved. Rather than pushing, Olivo focused first on building trust and creating a safe relationship with Rosie over time. During visits, Olivo introduced conversations about fatherhood gently and consistently. She asked open-ended questions about what children gain from having caring adults involved in their lives and encouraged reflection on the baby’s future needs. Slowly, Rosie began to reconsider the possibility of involving the baby’s father in a parenting role, learning and reflecting carefully on the impact it would have on her and her baby’s life.

Today, the baby’s father spends regular time with his child, giving Rosie* opportunities to rest, run errands, and care for herself while strengthening the bond between father and baby.

“She separated her emotions about the relationship from what her baby needed,” Olivo shared. “That was very powerful.”

A second mother, Evelynn*, entered the program pregnant and almost entirely alone. As Olivo continued introducing conversations about father involvement and positive parenting, Evelynn gradually opened the door to involving the baby’s father, eventually notifying him that she was pregnant. The change was immediate and meaningful. They began connecting regularly and the father was present at the birth. During home visits, Olivo watched the father provide emotional support and stay engaged during appointments. Co-parenting together, the family was able to secure housing, community supports, and a stronger foundation for the future.

These stories reinforce what the research tells us: that when fathers are engaged, children benefit emotionally and socially, and mothers gain valuable support.

Olivo also emphasizes the value of formal training focused on father engagement that gives home visitors practical strategies to navigate difficult family dynamics. Through ongoing professional development and support, home visitors learn how to build trust with both parents, facilitate healthy conversations, and help families identify what children need to thrive.

Some of the strategies Olivo shared are simple but powerful: inviting fathers into visits during times they are available, sharing videos and resources about play and bonding, encouraging parent-child interaction, and continually returning to conversations about child development and emotional wellbeing. Even in long-distance situations, she finds ways to keep fathers connected through video calls and shared activities during visits.

At its core, father engagement is about helping families recognize that children thrive when they experience love, security, and connection from both of their parents.

*Names changed to protect privacy

About the 30 for 30 Fatherhood Series

This story is part of 30 Stories for 30 Years, marking 30 years of the Children’s Trust Fatherhood Initiative. The series highlights how professionals and organizations across Massachusetts support father involvement, healthy co-parenting, and stronger parenting partnerships as part of upstream prevention.