A Father’s Commitment to Stability: Andrew’s Story

With support from Healthy Families Massachusetts, Andrew built the confidence, skills, and stability to raise his son and become the father he never had.

The day Andrew’s son was born, he learned that the mother had drugs in her system when she gave birth. He filed for custody and did everything the Department of Children and Families required of him so that he could raise his son. Around the time his son turned one, he was granted full custody of him – and he credits his Healthy Families Massachusetts home visitor for helping him get to that point.  

Andrew didn’t have a father growing up. His dad left when he was young and while he saw him on occasion, he says that all he learned from him was what not to be. Andrew knew that to be a good dad, he had to let go of his anger because holding onto it would only make him like his dad. Reflecting on the way he was raised it made him constantly second guess himself and wonder whether he could be a good parent.  His Healthy Families home visitor reassured him and gave him the confidence he needed to be the dad he is today.  

Andrew wrote this about his experience in HFM: 

My experience with healthy families has really opened my eyes to parenting. As a single father I didn’t know much to start and with everything happening so sudden I wasn’t sure if I was prepared or ready to be the parent my son needed which I don’t think anybody really does. Growing up I didn’t have a father so I never had an example to look at or up to so having this program to show me milestones and what’s expected really truly helps me understand how I’m doing and where I’m at with my child. There’s no handbook on how to be a great parent and I want to be the best i possibly can I want to be what I never had growing up and more for my son. Having this program has showed me how to teach my son things I might not have known how to or when to teach him. Being a single father is hard alone and with my situation and how I was raised it made me nervous , made me second guess myself , and made me wonder if I could do it or if I was doing it right but having someone so great there to help me and reassure me that I’m doing excellent really boosts my self esteem when it comes to raising my son. Knowing your doing right by your child and giving them the proper care they need is the most rewarding thing that’s ever happened to me. No matter how hard it is or was I wouldn’t change it for the world because at the end of the day my son is worth every second of it. Knowing your doing good and having someone to reassure you of that is an amazing feeling to have and without that I don’t know how I would feel about it. Becoming a parent has been the greatest experience ever for me and I only see it getting better and better in the future I have so much to look forward to and as I said before I would not change it for the world it’s the most rewarding thing possible. Healthy families has been so great for me and my son I’d suggest it to anyone and everyone for the simple fact that there is no handbook for parenting not everyone has that person cheering them on and telling them how they’re doing especially when all you want is the best for your child but how do you know what’s the best for your child? All in all becoming a parent and having these great people to help me through this amazing experience has been wonderful and I appreciate every bit of help I get. Healthy families is a great program that everyone and anyone that can use some help should look into having because it’s the most helpful thing I’ve had in my life and my child’s life. 

About the 30 for 30 Fatherhood Series 

This story is part of 30 Stories for 30 Years, marking 30 years of the Children’s Trust Fatherhood Initiative. The series highlights how professionals and organizations across Massachusetts support father involvement, healthy co-parenting, and stronger parenting partnerships as part of upstream prevention.